Expectations Colliding with Reality

May 6th, 2010, posted by Marcie, Tags: WoMoLists

I’ve come to think that expectations can pretty much kill a good time. You know what I’m talking about… it sounded like a great idea, but the reality isn’t quite what you expected? For what it’s worth, here’s my WoMo reality-check list:

Pure Living. In preparation for parenthood, you read all the books and learn about all of the bad stuff for your kids: television and video games, processed foods and hydrogenated oils, plastics and non-green household items. You commit yourself to pure ideals — you’ll never expose your child to anything even remotely harmful. Surprise! The whole damn thing is a lot harder than you thought. Suddenly, Baby Einstein and microwaveable macaroni and cheese aren’t so bad after all.

That bigger house on a cul-de-sac (or with a large yard). It conjured up images of childhood friends, bicycles and neighborhood block parties. But it likely equates to life in that stay-at-home mom Mecca: the suburbs. Suddenly, you’re feeling out of it because you don’t decorate your house for every holiday, volunteer for PTA President or take the 10am class at Yoga Center.

Mom provocateur. You’ve been in mom mode for too long and those stories of pole dancing and striptease have you thinking it’s time to get your mojo back. So you sneak a visit to Victoria’s Secret, watch what you eat all day, down a drink or three and get into sex kitten mode for the hubby. Sure, you do your thing, but it didn’t go as planned. Face it, the movies make it look easier and sexier than it really is.

Multi-generational childcare (aka, Grandma as babysitter). Sure, what better caregiver could there be than your mom or your hubby’s mom? No one other than you could possibly love your precious offspring any more. But a couple years into this arrangement and you understand the meaning of double-edged sword.

Part-time hours. You arrange for Friday off and a flex day on Wednesday. You’ll surely “have it all.” Or not. That Friday off really meant you’d be attached to your handheld at the park while frantically trying to keep your eye on the wee one. Feeling guilty. And that flex day was just another way for your job to flex its muscle and power over you.

Skinny Jeans. Keep this in mind: they aren’t called skinny jeans because they make us look skinny. It’s the pant itself that’s pencil-thin. Sure, you crammed yourself into them at the store. And they looked pretty cute standing in a 3-foot dressing room, but the first time you wear skinnies it becomes very clear why you were hesitant about buying them. Not only are they unbearably uncomfortable, but your undies show every time you crouch down (which is a lot).

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