Go the F_______k to Bed
January 1st, 2012, posted by Aimee
I am sure I’m not alone in admitting that come 7:30-8 p.m. in our house, there is at least one adult eyeing the clock with nervous anticipation. Because as much as I love hanging out over the dinner table listening to my sweetpea’s stories and soaking up his adorable 4-year-old energy, I also cannot wait for him to hit the hay so I can kick it back on the couch with my laptop and a glass of wine to finish up projects from work against the backdrop of lame reality TV shows. Or if it happens to be the one rare night when I lack “homework,” I am just plain exhausted after eight hours of doing Pokemon math problems, pretend “sparring,” rebuilding broken Lego sets and pouring endless cups of milk.
Alas, it’s not so easy to find that sweet relief anymore these days. In between the pre-sleep training infancy phase and about age four, things were actually fairly simple in the “getting that kid to sleep” realm. A solid sleeper by nature, Tav never had a problem falling into a deep sleep or even with waking up through the night … until recently.
Suddenly my fearless little dude has developed a fear of the dark and (all too common) belief that monsters are lurking in the shadows of his room when the lights go down. Now, the bedroom door – just steps away from our living room TV, by the way – stays open with a glaring hall light to illuminate those dreaded monster corners.
The open door also invites negotiation, conversation, requests … whatever Tav can use to engage us and keep up going in and out of his room for what seems like hours. “Mom, can I have a glass of water?” “Mom, the cat’s bothering me!” “Daddy, where’s my blankie?” “Mommy, I can’t sleep!”
Nate and I alternate at first politely and eventually devolve into arguing over who is going to service the little guy’s demands and get him back to bed. “You go – I have to work!” “No, you need to go – he’s calling for you!”
Adding to the annoyance of the situation is the nagging guilt about wishing your kid would just go the F_____k to sleep so you could get back to your work. Ooh, even saying that on this blog sounds bad. Dealing with bedtime and monster phobias is all part of the pact you made when you decided to throw your hat into the parenting arena years ago. But there’s a reason one of the best-selling gift books on the market right now has that title right now.
Comments
I LOVE this! Glad I stumbled on to your blog. I have to chase my 4yo back to bed over and over again most nights, and her bed is far removed from where I’m parked in front of the TV. I always figured that was the problem, but it’s just because they 4 and well, they can.