Silicon Valley Superwoman … or Fooling Herself?
July 17th, 2012, posted by Aimee
When news hit earlier this this week that 37-year-old Google executive Marissa Mayer – a bona fide “female geek chic” celebrity in SF/Silicon Valley circles and beyond – had been named CEO of Yahoo, reaction from most of the media and fellow female execs on Facebook and Twitter seemed overwhelmingly positive. Sure, Yahoo is a bit like an old dog limping along without much direction these days, but perhaps this cool chica (whose street cred was only slightly damaged by several fluffy profiles in glossy fashion mags over the years ) would be just the fresh blood needed to engineer a turnaround.
But then another angle on the story trickled out. Mayer announced she is expecting her first child in October, making her approximately six months pregnant as she steps into the CEO shoes. Morning show pundits, radio hosts and snarky blogs all began to weigh in on the topic of whether a 37-year-old woman expecting her first baby in just over three months could possibly handle such a huge job with this on her horizon. Some writers, such as this post by a blogger on Jezebel, pointed out that even raising a question about Mayer’s competency is sexist and misogynistic.
I’m not so sure I agree with her point of view, to be honest. Obviously, given the topic of this blog, I am a strong champion of working motherhood and I applaud the fact that a brilliant entrepreneur such as Mayer has the guts to pursue the career opportunity of a lifetime even in the face of impending first-time motherhood. . And she has stated right up front that she plans to work through her maternity leave. However, I hate the fact that if I admit what I am really thinking – that I doubt Mayer has a clue how much her universe is going to change in just a few short months and it’s going to be a hell of lot harder than she thinks, no matter how much help she hires or how committed and brilliant she is. I realize that voicing these kinds of doubts might inadvertently play into the dangerous stereotypes that lead to workplace discrimination and glass ceilings for women.
But come on. I don’t care how many nannies, cooks, drivers and whatever else round the clock help you hire, going back to work immediately after having your first child is going to be rough – emotionally (hello mommy guilt and fat pang) and physically (try sitting on a donut for a week and desperately warding off mastitis with bags of frozen peas). And even if you are in the corner office, pumping three times a day is a major drag.
Who knows? Just to get where she has today, Mayer is obviously some kind of a superwoman of sorts. Now it just remains to be seen whether she can be a supermom as well. What do you all think? Let me have it. Am I being lame? Does voicing these thoughts set back the cause of women’s advancement in the workplace? And if you could give Marissa Mayer any advice right now, what might it be?
Comments
If your experience is a guide (as one A-type female executive to another…) then she’s in for some surprises. The added pressure of the media watching every second and every move adds to her pressure. I could care less about Yahoo, but I wish her nothing but the best.
I think any woman who has had a baby is going to have the same kinds of thoughts running through their heads that you are articulating here. I could barely lift my head off the pillow in the first few days after giving birth and I certainly hope Mayer’s experience isn’t like mine (hello surprise C-section!) because there’s no “skipping maternity leave” if you’ve been sliced open to get your little bundle of joy out of your womb.
Having said that, my house cleaner just delivered her sixth child prematurely on Saturday and showed up to clean my house on Tuesday. (Unbeknownst to me– Obviously I would have told her to stay home and rest!) My point being, when women feel like they HAVE to show up somewhere for whatever reason, whether it’s to put food on the table for their other five children, or to prove themselves or to the world that they can do anything a man can do, they are capable of some amazing feats.
Do I think voicing your thoughts sets back the cause of women’s advancement in the workplace? Absolutely not. The more discussion about these issues the better, for all women. What would be truly revelatory is if we could hear from Mayer once she has some distance from her experience of returning to work immediately after giving birth. If she’d share honestly about how hard it will inevitably be maybe our society could start offering the kind of support necessary so that women could both give birth and run a company like Yahoo…or just take a few weeks off from cleaning houses.
First off, if she’s ‘working through her maternity leave’, then it’s not a maternity leave.
Second, I certainly don’t envy her. Having a baby is hard. Learning to look after yourself and your first baby is very hard. Working while being a new mom is really hard. Working in a new job as a new mom is terribly hard. Working in a new job as a new mom under intense media and mom-blogger scrutiny will be super-duper hard. I wish her all the best.
Although I never had a baby, I know enough working moms (incl execs) who struggle with “having it all.” It simply isn’t possible to give both equal dedication (there are only so many hours in a day!) When my two step children came into the picture, even I struggled with striking a balance between my job and family. One day, when everything seemed to be unraveling and I felt like I was falling short on all fronts, I had an ‘aha!’ moment and realized I was experiencing my own womo guilt. There is nothing wrong with women who choose to continue their careers post-baby (whether they have support through stay-at-home husbands, nannies or family), but if you are leaving for work when your child gets up and coming home right before bedtime, there is no way that isn’t having an impact. However, in previous generations (including our parents’ generation), this was the typical role men played. In other words, fathers weren’t ‘having it all’ either.
I agree, it is very hard to *have it all*, as a fellow working mom. But I applaud her willingness to try & maybe it will open eyes on how to make it work.
I had a rediculously easy recovery from my scheduled c-section (after 6 weeks of bedrest), and in all honesty, was working on my computer shortly after I got home. Not full out, like prior to my medical bedrest, but something to help me focus on beyond tears (first two weeks I cried over EVERYTHING) and constant worry of SIDS.
I think it is harder to have it all now that he is 4 & I’m back FT, than it was when he was first born & my job gave me wide laditude in making it work…
I think she will do great. I hope she does too, because it will be proving many of these stereotypes that mothers in leadership-type positions cannot perform the job as well because their children are an “obstacle”. What about the men in leadership who have children, is this talked about? If she has the recourses: telecommuting, a flexible schedule (which a tech company should provide) and of course hired help then I expect her and hope to see a great new Yahoo CEO. It will not be easy, of course. I work full-time and have two small children and it’s a challenge! But she can still do a great job if the recourses are there.
I don’t really watch the news and don’t pay attention to the crap they feed us; therefore, what bothers me most is that this working soon-to-be-mom is going to have enough challenges with becoming a new mommy. She doesn’t need to media hounding her and watching her every move. She needs support….which is what I see everyone who has commented here has offered
Honoring all working moms,
Janelle
–
Janelle Alex
Inward Oasis
FREE gift for working moms –
Quick Start Guide to Recover YOU
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I think it is funny to assume she is going to breastfeed unless she has stated that. Formula would obviously make this easier. Hopefully she will at least take a few weeks off. I think it is the emotional changes that will surprise her.
Catnor, good point about the breastfeeding. I actually used the pumping example mostly for comic effect. I think women totally beat themselves and others up about nursing and some of us are not cut out for it physically or for other reasons, so didn’t mean to make it sound like I was prejudiced about that.
Agree, 100%. We all need to stick together. I’m dreading the media attention already.
Cat, thanks for the comment! I love your insights and honesty and the points you make here much better than I was able to.