Laid-back Mom or Just Lazy?
June 19th, 2013, posted by Aimee
“Laid-back” is pretty much the last thing anyone who knows me at all would ever use to describe my personality. “Intense,” “stress-case,” “high strung,” even “energetic” and passionate” are the more frequently used adjectives by friends, family, coworkers – hell, anyone who knows me for more than five minutes typically.
However, “laid back” is probably the kindest way to describe my approach to much of the day to day parenting grind. And of course, this lack of worrying now has me worried. Is there something wrong with me that I worry so little when it comes to my little dude?
I’m not talking about health concerns, of course. Like any other mom, if Tav wakes up with a fever or bonks heads with a playmate on the trampoline, I’m calling doctors and administering first aid like no tomorrow. But when it comes to issues related to more everyday kid stuff – i.e., playground disputes, best friend fallouts, etc. – or even school dilemmas like which teacher he’ll be assigned and whether his reading level is above or below average, I simply don’t lose much sleep.
The other day, a good friend spent the better part of an hour explaining a “mean girl” problem her daughters were experiencing at school and wondering how to prevent her daughters from becoming tainted with the bullying reputation and stigma of this cruel little girl. I was having trouble following the logic or honestly caring too much and wondered if this was because I happen to have a little boy – maybe little boys don’t ever deal with this kind of drama? Or maybe I never cared to notice this in Tav’s interactions with friends. Or maybe I just don’t care enough to look into it?
The whole incident made me think about other times I felt like something in my “mommy genes” might be missing. There was the first day of kindergarten for Tav, when dozens of people asked me if I had teared up sending my little guy off to school. “You’ll need lots of Kleenex,” warned more than one mom. But I never understood the fuss. Sure, I was super excited for him to start school and all the “big boy adventures” of elementary school, but was it really earth-shatteringly emotional? Not for me.
Other times during the year, I have overhead other moms fretting about whether their child’s reading level was up to par or about how their teacher may not have stretched them enough in terms of certain academic goals. It just didn’t occur to me to do much more with that information than to let it wash right over me. If the teacher told me Tav was doing fine, I took their word for it. If he liked his teacher, had lots of friends and seemed happy, was I supposed to be digging deeper to find something wrong? According to some moms, it seems so. What the heck is wrong with me that I am not worrying like everyone else?
Somehow, as improbable as it may seem, I have an innate sense of confidence and calm when it comes to mothering Tavish that doesn’t apply to any other area of my life. I can only chalk it up to a fantastic, happy little boy who makes me feel everyday like anything is possible and that life is exceedingly good. Or maybe I’m just lazy.